Today was hard. I don't feel wonderful, the sore throat is still with me and apparently I've been snoring so loud it is hard to sleep, even with doors closed. While I feel terrible about this there is little I can do except to go to the doctors, which will happen tomorrow.
Mike went yesterday. He had a minor infected cyst removed, but as I told my brother yesterday, it's the everyday life on top of the "oh my gosh my Mom's dying" that makes it hard to weather the everyday challenges. Mike is doing great and has only minor discomfort, thankfully.
I'm feeling very low after visiting with my Mom today. She is not doing well. After having my Mom "back" for several weeks she is gone to "dolallyville". She doesn't even know who you are some moments and believed my Dad "left" her for some "rule" she broke, which rule is unclear but the fact that she thinks so, is sad. Dad is sad about it as well. She tried to walk today and nearly passed out. She had to be wheeled back to bed, two people supporting her to sit up. Even though it is a lovely bed, it is a hospital bed. She sleeps all the time, I hate for her to sleep even for a moment during the day, and nag her to stay awake.
I spun today but there is so much furniture in my Mom's room that the spinning wheel and me, were really in the way. I hate being in the way and so often, especially today, it was the case.
The weather here was warm but not "oh my it's hot today". Last year we were in Tucson AZ. blazing heat, mucking out my MIL's house after her stroke and my Step FIL death from cancer. So I guess we are better off this year, but it's hard to remember that as I sit with my Mom, and see her ageing years from day to day.
Steven is attending college, I couldn't be prouder. Becky is well but at a cross roads and conflicted.
I want a kitten. We were turned down by the adoption agency yesterday. Another blow. I am so sad that other people don't think I'd make a good cat mom, so no kitten, cat, or puppy to love on. A good little cry and a huge cuddle (ALA Mike) later sees me trying to get Cyrus to be my special friend, he is willing if I will allow him to lick himself bald, another reason I think a kitten would be a good idea.
I'm too low even to make much of a grateful list but here it goes;
I still have a Mom and Dad.
I have a lovely husband.
I have loving children.
I have wonderful friends.
I can go to the doctors and not worry about the cost.
I do have a cat, even though he doesn't love me with all his kitty heart, I will try and love him even more.
I have an excellent car that my Mom recognized today, she didn't know me but the new car she knew.
I have lavender hanging in my garage drying.